


Tell me it's alright

by Bakerslake



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-17 23:58:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12376803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakerslake/pseuds/Bakerslake
Summary: When Becky's relationship starts to go a little to far,  Who is there to save her?





	1. The Party

It wasn't bad to start with. I genuinely loved him. He was the perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for. 

He made sure I was cared for. He brought me coffee, and stayed up with me when I was up all night. I guess the really only down side is that he was protective, and maybe a little jealous. 

"Come on please come hang out at Abby's tonight. You never hang with us." Kelley said pouting.

"Kelley you know how worried Nick gets when I stay out past 10." I told her sitting down in the meeting room. 

"Do you even hear yourself!" she said pacing. "Becky you are a 22 year old women. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to stay out past 10."

"Kelley I would, but I just don't want to make him upset. I'll go to Abby's until 9:45 then I have to leave. okay?"

"Yes!! Thank you!" she yelled as she ran out of the room.

_____

"Nick you are blowing this way out of proportion!" I yelled walking into the bedroom. 

"No I'm not! If you would just fucking listen for a minute, and stop being stupid you would understand why I said no!"

Frustrated I walked out of the bedroom and went and sit on the couch. I promised Kelley I would go over and now I'm stuck here. I grabbed my phone and decided to text Alyssa so I didn't have to face Kelley directly.

Becky: Hey Alyssa bad news, I can't make it to Abby's tonight. I told Nick and he had a total melt down. Can you please Tell Kelley I'm sorry.

Alyssa: Hey Becky. It's fine, and yeah I'll tell Kelley. Just be safe. I'll see you tomorrow.

I shut off my phone, and saw that it was almost 7:30. I got up going to the kitchen to get dinner started.

_____

It was about 10:45 when my phone lit up. 

Alyssa: Can you please come get Kelley she is piss drunk.

I sighed knowing this was going to happen. 

Becky: yeah give me 10 mintues and I'll be on my way. 

I walked over to Nick to tell him where I was going. "Kelley is drunk and I have been told I have to go get her. I'll be out of the house 45 mintues max."

He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but looked away. "Whatever. You better only be out for 45 mintues" he replied, as he went back to the game and his beer. 

"Okay," I sighed as I walked away. 

Great the reaction of an annoyed Nick. 

I went to our room and grabbed my wallet and keys and with an "I love you" to Nick I was on my way. 

_____

As I got to Abby's house I saw why Kelley was piss drunk. It wasn't one of her normal 50 people parties. This one had at least 200 people. 

"They are so dead," I whispered to myself as I walked towards the door. 

As I walked in all I heard was "This is Narly dude!!" follow by a crash. As I got closer I could see an annoyed Alyssa picking Kelley off from the floor. 

"What the fuck happened?" I asked Alyssa as I helped her get Kelley off the floor. "Well I was going to put her in Abby's room, and get her to sit in there until you got here, but she decided it was going to be an amazing idea to jump off the second story."

I looked at Kelley and she just looked dazed and confused. I looked at Alyssa worried. "Are you sure she just drunk? She looks out of it."

"As far as I know all that she has to drink is alot of shots."

"Okay well can you just help me pick her up and get her out to the car?"

Alyssa nodded and the both of us started to get Kelley's dead weight off the floor and started dragging her towards the car. 

As we loaded Kelley into the front of my car I closed the door and turned towards Alyssa. "Thank you for calling me about Kelley."

"No problem." Alyssa said smiling. "I knew Kelley was gonna get outta hand, and I knew that you needed to get out of the house for a little bit."

I walked up to Alyssa and gave her a hug. "Thanks."

"No problem. So are you taking Kelley back to her apartment or back to yours?"

I looked down and saw i had already been go for 30 mintues. "Fuck I guess she is gonna have to go to my apartment tonight. Nick is gonna throw a bitch fit when I bring her in but it's already 30 mintues, and I told him I would be gone for a max of 45 mintues."

I stepped away from Alyssa and went around to the drivers side and got in and started the car. I rolled down the passenger window so Alyssa could look in. 

Alyssa looked at me for a minute before speaking, "Just be safe please Becky. If you need anything please call me."

I sighed knowing what Alyssa was hinting at. "I promise Alyssa I will. Have a good night and please stay safe."

She nodded and with that I rolled up my window and looked down at the clock and saw i had 10 mintues to get back to the apartment which was a 15 mintue drive back. I knew I was in deep shit.


	2. Fighting and Shots

When I rolled in the parking lot it had been almost an hour since I left to get Kelley. We had to pull over once because Kelley had to puke.

I walked over to the passenger side and slowly picked up Kelley. I swear she had gained 5 pounds. I walked up the stairs and saw the light was on and knew that Nick was still awake. 

As soon as I opened up the door I saw him fuming. "Please don't start. I have a very heavy Kelley in my arms. Wait at least until I have put her to bed."

I walked out and went to the guest room that was almost Kelley's second bedroom. I placed her down and made sure she was comfortable before I left the room to face Nick. 

As soon I walked in he began to yell at me. "You told me you were going to be 45 mintues, but no you lied to me and you are back after an hour! Where were you?  Did you just go to get drunk?" 

"Oh my God nick! I was an hour because Kelley decided to jump off the second story of Abby's house, and then decided on the way home she needed to puke. I decided to pull over so there wasn't puke all over your car. Lastly no I wasn't drinking. Take a breathalyzer test on me." 

He looked at me and just rolled his eyes. "Whatever I'm going to bed, sleep on the couch for all I care. Night." With that he walked out and I was alone standing in the middle of my livingroom just wondering where my life has left me. 

_____

Kelley pov

When Becky tucked me in I woke up for a second so I could at least take off my pants when I heard him yelling at her. "You lied to me, and you are back after an hour! Where were you? Did you just go get drunk?"

Why the fuck was he yelling at her for? Honestly I've never heard him yell at her like that. Everytime I've talked to him he was nice and sweet. All I knew is that he was pretty protective of Becky. 

I heard Becky yell at him and asking him if he wanted her to take a breathalyzer test. Then the last thing I heard was "Go sleep on the couch for all I care. Night." Then the house went silent.

I contemplated if I should go out there to see if Becky was alright, but decided against it, because I don't think she wants to know that I heard the whole fight.

I took off my pants and laid back down and tried to go to sleep and forget this night. 

_____

Becky Pov

I stood in the middle of the living room for a good 5 mintues just thinking. I slowly moved to the hallway to get an extra blanket and pillow and made my way back to the living room and made my 'bed' for the night. I layed down and turned on the TV and just hoped that Nick was in a better mood the next morning.

_____

I woke up and looked down at my phone and saw that it was 7am. I got up and saw no one else was up yet. So I went to the kitchen and started to get breakfast ready. 

The first thing I did though was go and get some Advil and water, and set them down on the counter for when Kelley wakes up. Then I went to the fridge and decided that eggs and bacon would be good breakfast. 

I was about finished with everything when I groggy Kelley walks in. "Good morning Kel you sleep good."

She looked at me groaning. "Jesus Becks can you please stop yelling."

"I'm not babe, your just hung over." I said laughing. " I have some water and Advil for you on the counter, and I am finishing up the eggs and bacon."

"Okay thank you Becky."

I finished up breakfast and made Kelley a plate before walking down the hallway making my way to mine and Nicks room to wake him up. 

I walked in and the first thing I saw was an empty bed. Next I walked to the bathroom and saw that it was also empty. 

I grabbed my phone and decided to text him. 

Becky:  Where are you?  I went to come wake you up and your gone.

Nick: none of your business. I'll be back later tonight. You better be home before 9pm. And don't make dinner tonight, I'm going out with a couple of friends for dinner. 

Sighing I texted him that I loved him knowing he would get upset if I didn't tell him, and then shut my phone off. I changed my clothes and then made my way back to the kitchen.

Kelley looked up at me as I entered the  kitchen. "Nick not eating with us?"

"Apprently not. I went to wake him up and he wasn't there and so I texted him and he told me he left early this morning and wouldn't be back until later tonight." 

I went around and got me some eggs and bacon, and fuck it I grabbed a bottle of whiskey from under the sink. 

"Becky you aren't gonna drink that right now are you?"

All I could do was laugh. "Why can't I Kelley? Nick is gone for the day and I don't have to be back until 9 tonight so if I take a couple of shots now, I'll be sober as a board when he gets home."

I grabbed a shot glass and poured me a shot and threw it back. And immediately poured another one. 

I took about 4 shots before Kelley took the bottle out of my hand. "Becky that's enough shots. Eat your breakfast."

I sighed and slowly started to eat my breakfast.

_____

Kelley Pov

As Becky started to eat her food I grabbed my phone outta my pocket and texted Alyssa.

Kelley: guess what Becky just did before eating her breakfast

Lyssa: Well good morning to you too Kelley. And what did Becky do before she started eating her breakfast? 

Kelley: She litterly shot back 4 shots of whiskey before I took the bottle from her.

Lyssa: oh wow... Um okay..  Was not expecting that..  I mean like why did she just shoot back 4 shots of whiskey?? 

Kelley: all she told me was that Nick left early this morning and she didn't have to be home until 9 tonight and then begin to shoot back shots. I think she needs to get out of the house so I'm gonna ask her what she wants to do today.

Lyssa: good idea. Tell me where y'all are going so I can maybe hang out with y'all. 

Kelley: okay yeah. I will.

When I saw that Becky had finished her food I grabbed her and my plate and made my way to the sink to clean them. As I finished I turned to her. "So what do you want to do today?"


	3. The zoo

"So what do you want to do today?"

Becky Pov

"Let's go to the zoo!"

"The zoo?" Kelley asked confused.

"Yes the zoo! We have the day off today, and I don't have to be home until 9, and I just need to get outta the house." 

Kelley laughed at me getting all excited about the zoo. "Okay yeah we can go to the zoo. Let me text Alyssa and see if she wants to come with us, and then we can go."

Kelley pulled out her phone to I assume to text Alyssa, while I went upstairs to change out of my clothes from yesterday. 

I got up to my room and decided I was gonna wear a pair of black ripped skinny jeans with a white crew neck and a pair of  white converse. I decided to put my hair up in a messy bun because it a little warm outside today. 

As I got done putting my hair up I heard someone knock on the door, and I ran down stairs to see who it was. 

I went down the stairs and rounded the corner to see that Alyssa had arrived. "Hey Alyssa!" I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Oh! Hey Becky. You ready for the zoo today?" she said turning around facing me.

"Um Duh. I picked it. I can't wait to see all the diffrent animals."

Kelley chuckled as she spoke up. "So y'all ready to go?"

Me and Alyssa both nodded quickly as we exited the door and went to down to the car. 

As we reached the car I went over to the drivers door when I heard Kelley yell at me, "Oh hell nah. You ain't driving Rebecca Sauerbrunn. You just shot down 4 shots of whiskey. I am not letting you drive." 

I stomped my foot in protest. "Kelley I'm fine. I can drive." 

"NO." She said in a stern voice. "Now hand me the keys so we can go enjoy the zoo." 

I huffed and reluctantly handed over the keys and got into the back seat. 

"As long as I get to control the aux cord I'll be happy."

All Kelley could do was laugh as she handed the me the aux cord. 

_____

After jamming to some tunes for 15 mintues, we finally arrived at the zoo. 

We got out and stretched our legs before going up to the gate to get our tickets. 

We payed for our tickets and made our way into the front. Alyssa grabbed a map and opened it. "So do you want to start with the flamingos or the hippos first?"

I looked at Kelley to see what she wanted to do when she told me, "You pick Becky. I don't care what we do first."

I was kinda shocked that Kelley didn't pick, but I replied, "Let's go to the flamingos first. Most people always start with the hippos."

They both gave a nod and we were off.

_____

We saw the flimingos, tigers, cheetahs, birds and monkeys when we decided it was a good time to take a break and eat a late lunch. 

We all grabbed a salade with a water and found a nice little table in the shade and started eating. 

Kelley was the first one to speak up. "So how have you been Becky?"

I hesitated for a minute before putting on a forced smile. "I've been good. Me and Nick have been thinking about a mini vacation when we both get a couple of days off." 

Kelley looked suprised. "Oh that's cool. Any ideas where yet?"

"No not really. It's mostly just been some taking about it. But enough about me. Let's talk about Kelley." I looked straight at Kelley wanting to know answers. "What the hell did you drink last night? You can usually hold your alcohol, but I had to pull over last night so you could puke."

Kelley looked all around but me and Alyssa. "I honestly don't know what I drank last night. I don't even know what happened. I don't remember much of it." 

I nodded in approval not wanting to push her. 

As Kelley got done speaking my phone rang. 

*Unkown number*

"Hello?" I asked carefully.

"Is this Rebbecca Sauerbrunn?"

"Yes this is Rebbecca, may I ask who is calling."

"This is the county jail. I wanted to tell you that Nick Wheeler is currently in our possession awaiting bail."

"Oh. Um okay. I'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you for calling me."

"Anytime. Have a nice day Ms. Sauerbrunn."

"You too."

"Mother fucker," I quietly whispered to myself. 

"Who called you?" Alyssa asked curiously. 

"It was the county jail. Nick has been arrested." I let out a sigh. "This was suppose to be my day off, and I was suppose to be able to spend the day with my friends, but no I have to go bail Nick's ass out of jail."

"It's fine Becky. Alyssa said reassuringly. "We had a good part of the day." 

Looking down defeated. " I know.. Let's just go, and get him before it gets to late."

We both nodded and we threw away our trash and slowly made our way to the exit of the zoo. 

As we exited the zoo I looked back one more time and thought. 'this was one of the best days in awhile.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 3 out of 6 that I have written. I hope y'all enjoyed


	4. Jails and Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saying now I'm terrible at all this jail shit. I've only been once with my mom to bail someone out.

We pulled up to the jail, and slowly got out. Alyssa looked at me worriedly and all I could do was nod. 

As we walked in Alyssa, and Kelley went and sat down as I went up to talk to the lady at the front desk. 

"Hello I'm here to bail out Nick Wheeler out."

The lady smiled at me. "Ah you must be Rebecca." she handed me a few papers on a clipboard. " I need you to fill these out and then need to talk to you about bail."

I thanked her and made my way to where the girls were. 

I sat down and started to fill out papers.

Date: 9/28/17

Name: Rebecca Sauerbrunn 

Relationship to inmate: Girlfriend 

I finished with the papers and went back up to the lady. 

The lady took my papers. And made sure everything that I needed to fill out was correct. She typed some things into her computer, and then looked up at me. "Okay hun his bail was set at $350."

"Okay." I said handing her the money. I looked up at her once more. " If I may ask what were the charges?"

The lady looked at me with pity. "The charges were for trespassing and assault." 

I looked at her shocked. "Oh okay thank you."

"Welcome. He should be out in about 10 mintues, so if you can you can go sit over there with your friends."

I smiled at her one last time before going to sit in between Lyssa and Kel.

_____

Like the lady said 10 mintues later Nick came walking out into the front area. He looked at me crazy when he saw that Alyssa and Kelley were with me. I just gave him the 'I don't wanna hear about it' look, and started walking out the door. 

The drive you could say was more than silent. It was so awkward you could cut the tension with a knife. As we pulled into the driveway Nick got out right away as me, Alyssa and Kelley lingered outside for a minute.

"I am sorry that I ruined our day today." I said apologizing to both of them. 

Alyssa was the first to speak up. "It wasn't your fault. It was Nick's. You have no reason to be sorry. I'll take Kelley home, and we will just see each other tomorrow at practice. Okay?"

"Okay." I said. I gave both of them a hug and then went to the porch and waited until they left to go inside, and deal with Nick. 

I made my way inside and saw that Nick already had a beer in his hand. 

"Are we gonna talk about why the fuck I just bailed you out of jail?"

"No." he said plainly.

"Why were you arrested Nick? I just spent 300 dollars to get your ass outta jail!" 

"Don't yell at me Becky!" Nick yelled at me. "It's not your fucking place to know why I was arrested! And why the hell were Alyssa and Kelley with you. "

By this point I was fed up. "Yes it is Nick. Last time I checked I was your girlfriend. And for your information I was them because we went to the zoo until I had to come bail your ass out of jail."

"Yes you are my girlfriend Becky, but your also a bitch who thinks their nose needs to be in everyone's business!"

"Nick how about you just shut the fuck up and listen to yourself for a minute!"  

That's when I felt a hand go across my cheek. 

"I-I I'm sor-" 

"Just leave."

"Bec-"

"No. I don't want to hear it just leave."

I refused to look him in the eyes. I finally looked up once the door finally shut. 

I slowly moved to the couch, and silently sat there unable to process what just happened.

_____

I sat there for a little bit, then slowly got off the couch and moved over to the mirror that's hung up in the hallway. 

I looked at myself and saw a huge red mark that was slowly starting to brusie. 

I looked down at my phone and saw that I had multiple messages and missed calls from Alyssa, Kelley and Nick. I turned off my phone and made my way to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, and waited for it to turn warm. I slowly stripped out of my clothes and got in. I stood under the water and closed my eyes, and tried to forget everything. 

I opened my eyes and quickly finished my shower and got out. I put on my big grey sweats and a bright orange tee shirt, and made my way to the livingroom to turn off and straighten everthing. 

I got to the livingroom, and grabbed the half empty beer bottle. And threw it out. I turned off the TV and lights and made my way to the bedroom. 

Once I got to my room, I turned the TV on and muted it. I locked the door and turned off the lights and slowly got into bed. 

All I could wish was that tomorrow was a better day then today.


	5. Practice and Confessions

I woke up to my alarm blaring in my ear.

7:00am

I groaned and slowly rolled out of bed, and made my way to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. 

As I got my coffee started and my oatmeal cooking I sent Alyssa a quick text. 

Becky: Hey Nick left early again this morning. Can you give me a ride to practice?

She almost replied instantly.

Lyssa: Sure. I'll be there in about 30 mintues so be ready. 

My coffee and oatmeal were done so I turned off the stove knowing I could eat it on the way to practice and made my way up to my room to get ready.

I walked into my bathroom and looked at my self for the first time since last night. I saw that I had a nice size bruise on my cheek. I started digging through my make up bag to find make up to cover it. 

_____

Just as I was putting the final few touches of makeup on my face I heard the door bell ring.

I ran down stairs, and caught my breath before opening it. 

"Hey Alyssa give me like 4 mintues to get my stuff and transfer my oatmeal and coffee to an on the road container."

I ran into the kitchen and got everything I needed and checked my face one last time before I exited the kitchen.

I smiled sweetly at her. "You ready to go?"

She smiled and nodded and we made our way outside and got into the car. 

I quickly ate my food in the car. 

We arrived at practice about 15 mintues later to see that a good part of the team had already arrived. I got out of the car and got my bag, and made my way into the stadium. 

Once I got in, I sat on a bench and started putting my cleats on. 

"Missed you the other night." I heard a voice say. 

I looked up and saw Abby standing over me.

"Yeah sorry I could come, but I did end up at the party for 15 mintues to pick up Kelley's drunk ass." 

She looked at me shocked. "And you did not even come say hi to me?"

"Sorry," I told her looking down at my cleats. " I had 45 mintues to get Kelley and get back to my apartment, so I didn't really have time for a social event."

Abby nodded knowingly. "Yeah, but next time come and hang out with us."

Smiling nicely at her. "I sure will."

As out conversation ended, Jill blew her whistle and told us to jog 2 laps and then start stretching.

_____

We were ending practice when Jill called me over. "Yes Jill?"

She smiled sweetly at me. "I just wanted to make sure that everything was alright. You looked kinda out of it today." 

Smiling at her "Yes Jill I'm fine."

She looked at me and then touched my face, and I flinched.

Fuck. 

"Becky why did you just flinch?" she asked confused.

"I just didn't expect you to touch me," I said lying.

"Becky I know your lying. So why did you flinch?"

"Nick hit me last night." I whispered quietly.

Jill quickly took my hand and led me to the bathroom.

"wash it off."

"Wash what off?" I asked pretending to be confused.

"Becky I know you are smarter than that. Take off your make up." 

I got some paper towels and water and slowly washed off the make up on my face. 

I slowly looked at myself in the mirror and saw that that the bruise had gotten darker since this morning.

"What happened?" Jill asked. 

I sighed and gripped the side of the sink as I begin to speak. "Me Kelley, and Alyssa went to the zoo yesterday, and when we were sitting down eating a late lunch my phone rang and it was the county jail telling me that Zack has been arrested. So the three of us left and they drove me to me jail so I could bail him out. We got him out and the girls take me and him home. Me and him get home and I ask him why he got arrested, and he told me it was not by busniess to know why he was arrested. I smarted off to him and said I was his girlfriend and I bailed him out so it was kinda my busniess, and he told me I needed to get my nose out of his busniess and that's when I yelled at him again and told him to shut the fuck up and maybe he should listen to himself for once, and that's when he hit me."

"What did he say after he hit you?"

I looked back up and looked at Jill through the mirror. "He tried to apologize, but I told him to get out and I haven't seen him since last night."

"Becky?"

"Mhmm"

"What was he arrested for?"

I took a breath. "He was arrested for trespassing and assault."

"Becky this isn't a healthy relationship."

"Jill I'm fine."

"Becky did you not hear yourself. He was yelling at you because you bailed him out, and you wanted to know why he was arrested. He also hit you!"

"Jill I'm fine." I said once again. I quickly left the bathroom and got my stuff and went to Alyssa's car. 

"Everything okay?" She asked diverting her eyes away from the bruise on my cheek. 

"Yes." I said with a fake smile, knowing that another conversation was soon to come.


	6. More Than Meets the Eye

I've learned to cover up the bruises better. Learned not to flinch everytime someone touches a bruise. Drinking helps also. 

The team doesn't know I've been drinking, and Jill doesn't know the beatings have gotten worse.

Alyssa hasn't spoken to me about the bruise on my cheek once. 

Drinking helps me feel numb. They don't know that I get drunk. I usually do it at night until I pass out.

He gets mad at the small things. When I haven't taken out the trash, or I haven't told him I would be home later than expected or that I didn't tell him that I loved him. 

I've learned this is my life and I can't get out of it. 

_____

I wrapped up my ribs so they would hurt as bad during practice today. 

After I wrapped my ribs up I gently put on a sports bra then a t-shirt then make my way into the bathroom to cover up my face.

Once I get done covering my face I somewhat look normal, besides the point I've lost some weight. 

I heard the car horn honk, and knew Alyssa was here so I put on my training pants and made my way down stairs.

I got into her car and immediately plugged in my phone, and turned on "Living out that dream?"

"Is this Ella and Erin's new song?" Alyssa asked surprised.

"Yeah." I said smiling. "I heard it last night and downloaded it this morning."

"It's really good."

I nodded in response. We then sat in silence as song continued to play. 

I just sat in my thoughts until I felt a poke on my shoulder. 

"We're here." She simply said as got out of the car. 

I got out of the car and went to the trunk and got my bags and followed Alyssa into the complex. 

_____

Alyssa Pov

When me and Becky got into the complex I saw Jill waving me over.

I walked over to her quite confused of to why she would want to talk to me.

"Yeah Jill?" I asked.

"Did you see Becky's face a couple of weeks back?" she asked quickly and quietly. 

"The one on her cheek?"

"Yeah that one."

"Well yeah I saw it." I was still quite confused of why she was talking about Becky. "Why did you ask me about the bruise on her check for?"

"The night you dropped Becky and Nick off at their house that night they got into a fight and Nick hit Becky."

"What do you mean he hit her!" I said a little bit to loud. 

"Shhh, and I mean that is why Becky had that brusie on her cheek. Nick slapped her, and I think he is still hitting her." 

"She would've have told me if he was hitting her Jill." I said not being able to wrap my head around this. 

I mean Becky is my best friend. She would surely tell me if something was happening to her. 

"Alyssa. He has her thinking that he loves her. She believes that this is a part of a normal relationship. I need to you talk to her. Nothing big or anything just see how she is okay, and maybe at some point talk to her about the bruised cheek."

I swallowed hard and nodded at Jill. She gave me and smiled and nodded towards the direction of the field. 

I got up and started making my way to the goal knowing what the conversation was going to be on the way home.


	7. Attraction

Becky Pov

I just looked at the way she stood. The way she had her hair in a bun, and the way she used her hands to talk. 

God Becky stop it you aren't gay. You have Nick.

I shook my head to clear all those thoughts. Yes I can't like a girl I have Nick. He is wonderful, and I love him, but the way Alyssa hair falls down her back when she lets it down. It's beautiful...

_____

Alyssa pov

As I sat on the bench getting a drink of water, my eyes slowly wondered to the center back. The way she was able to track the ball so effortlessly. She looked so free out there it made me feel happy.

I could never tell her how I feel. She has Nick, and she obviously was not going to give him up to easily. I just needed to show her what he was doing was wrong, and I could treat her with so much respect and happiness then what he was doing at the moment. 

I stood up just as Jill blew the whistle, saying to come huddle. She told us her final words and then dismissed practice. Before I could even walk over to Becky, she came over to my backpack grabbed my keys and walked off. 

I sighed as I sat down and started taking off my cleats. Kelley came over and few seconds later and started talking. "Is everything okay with Becky?" I nodded in response. "Yes she is alright she just haven't had a good week."

With that I put the rest of my stuff into my backpack not wanting keep talking and made my way to the car. 

As I got into the car Becky was already buckled in and was listening to music softly, and was sleeping in the passengers seat. 

I got into the car and buckled and started to head back to Becky's place to drop her off. 

_____

As I pulled into the driveway I saw that Nicks car was gone like usual.  I shook Becky slightly, and she jolted awake. She looked around confused. "We are back at your house," I said gently. She nodded her head. "Would you like to come in?  Nick is gonna be out a little bit longer." 

I nodded my head in approval, wanting to spend as much time with the blonde before the asshole got back home. 

We made our way in, and she made a beeline to the kitchen. Curious I followed her. 

As I walked in I saw her grabbing 2 wine glasses from the cabinet and pouring the white wine into them. 

"Becky you know drinking after practice isn't good right?" all she did was snort.

"I'm being serious." 

"And I'm not." she said as she drank her glass of wine. 

"What's wrong with you Becky?"

"Nothing."

"Well obviously something. You would have never done something like this if there was not something wrong!" 

"God dammit. Just kiss me!" she yelled. 

"w-what?" I stuttered out. 

"kiss me please."

_____

Becky's pov 

"Kiss me please." I said. 

And that is what she did. She slowly made her way over to me and cupped my cheeks with her hands. She leaned forward and I met her the rest of the way. Our lips connected, and I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I felt sparks. The way our bodies fitted together and the way our lips moved in sync. 

I pulled away suddenly, regretting it instantly. I couldn't like a girl. I wasn't gay I loved Nick. Yes he gets mad about stupid things, but I was suppose to love him. 

I looked up at Alyssa with confusion in my eyes. I was lost and I didn't know what to do. 

She spoke ever so softly that I barely heard her. "I need to leave." And that is how she left me. Standing there confused in the middle of my living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short. But I hope everyone in the US had a wonderful Thanksgiving :)


	8. Alcohol and Boys

After she left I grabbed the bottle of wine and finished it off. It wasn't enough. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the sink and drank it from the bottle. 

I couldn't like her. I couldn't. I couldn't like the way her hair fell in front of her face when she puts it down when she is trying to look nice. I could like the way she huffs and screams when she is trying to put the backline together.

As I finished the last bit of whiskey I heard the door open. "Fuck."

"What are you doing Rebecca?" I heard Nick sternly ask. 

"N-n-nothing." I said slightly scared. 

"Don't fucking lie to be Becky! I know exactly what you were doing!" he screamed. "You know you're not allowed to drink when I'm not around!"

Since I was a little tipsy I decided to be a little brave. "Nick you can't fucking control me for the rest of my life! How about you go fuck yourself and let me be!"

I regretted it the minute I said it all.. 

"Shut up bitch! No one likes you! Everyone only acts like they like you because you play soccer, and honestly you suck at that! So how about you shut up for once and listen to me." 

He slapped me, and then walked off the the living after getting a beer to do a line.

Yeah that was his new hobby coke and beer. Such a lovely combination. 

I pushed my self off the counter and started to make dinner so he wouldn't get even more pissy. I decided to make some avocado chicken and rice. Before I made it I wanted to make sure that it was alright with Nick. 

I walked into the livingroom and waited until he finished the line to ask him. 

"I am making dinner is avacado chicken and rice okay?"

"No I have friends coming over make something that is nice and not one of your healthy fucking meals." 

I sighed. "do you have any suggestions?"

"Just fucking make something!"

With that I was back in the kitchen trying to figure out what to make. 

_____

As I was prepping dinner I heard a knock at the front door. I knew if I didn't grab it Nick would yell so I put the ribs in the oven and went and grabbed the door. 

I look through the peep hole and saw it was his friends I'm guess and opened up the door. 

As they walked in I heard one of them wolf whistle "You were right nick she is a catch!"

I felt so uncomfortable. "Dinner should be ready in 10 mintues and Nick is right in there. Do y'all want any beers?" 

They nodded and made their way into the livingroom.

I grabbed 3 beers and grabbed the ribs outta and made my way into the livingroom. I gave them their beers set down the ribs and started to walk out. When I heard Nick call out to me. 

"yes?" I asked politely. 

"Stay around a little bit, hang out with us and watch the real soccer players play?" he said as he grabbed my waist and pulled me into his lap. 

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to decline. I have to get up early in the morning." I replied as I tried to get up off his lap. 

"It wasn't a question." he whispered harshly to me as he gripped my waist. 

"So what do you say? You want to hang out a little bit?"

"Yeah." I said with a fake smile. 

_____

It was 11pm and they have forced me to do a couple lines of coke, and honestly I just didn't want to be there anymore. I had to be up by 5:30 and all I wanted to do was sleep. 

I tried stand up and Nick grabbed me and pulled me back down. 

I tried again. "Nick it is almost midnight and I have to be up by 530."

"I don't fucking care what time you have to be up! You're staying down here." 

He beyond drunk and fucked up on drugs. 

 

He slapped my face, and decided that wasn't enough. He passed me around to his friends who smacked me in the face or the ass. Then they started to get rougher they started kicking me and punching me in my ribs. 

At one point I while I was going in and out of consciousness I swore I felt kissing on my neck and legs. 

_____

I woke up to someone shaking me. I slowly opened up my eyes and was confused to see where I was.

I looked around a little bit and saw that I was in my living room floor and Jill Ellis and Dawn Scott was looking at me. 

"How did you guys get in here?" I asked confused as to why these two women were staring at me.

"We have a key to your house and the door was open when we came by to see why you didn't show up for practice."

"Oh Shit practice. What time is it?" I groaned out.

"It's a quarter til noon" Jill said 

"Dammit I'm sorry." I started. "I tried to go to bed at a reasonable time but they wouldn't let me."

"wait who is 'they'?" Dawn asked. 

"Uhh Nick and his friends." I asked groggly.

"What happened?" Jill asked. 

"Nick invited some of his friends over and I made dinner and I tried to leave them alone but nick didn't want me after yesterday incident."

"What incident?" 

"Nick caught me drinking whiskey, and I'm not suppose to drink unless he is around. So he got upset and yelled at me."

"we'll talk about that later but go on."

"well I told him I couldn't I had to get up early and he grabbed onto my hips and told me I was gonna stay so I did. They end up making me do a couple lines of coke, and when it was almost midnight I tried to leave again and Nick slapped me and then passed me around like a doll kicking me punching and slapping me around like a rag doll until finally I passed out."

Jill and Dawn looked at each other like they didn't know what they should say until finally Jill looked up me and asked, "Becky do you still love him?"

I haven't thought about that in a while. "I don't think I do anymore." I said as I crumbled into Dawns arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. I know I haven't posted in like whatever. Alot has happened. I've met my girlfriend for the first time in November when she came down for Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas I went and visited her. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!


	9. Where do I go now?

"I don't think I do anymore." I said as I crumbled into Dawns arms.

_____

I gathered myself from Dawn, and wiped my eyes. "If I leave here I litterly have no where to go. Because of Nick I don't talk to any of my family. Maybe Kelley or Abby will let me stay with them."

"Let me go call them and see if they wouldn't mind letting you stay for a little." Dawn said starting to stand up.

"Please ask Kelley first," I said pleading. "Abby doesn't know anything that is going on, and please tell Kelley not to say anything to Alyssa I need to tell both of them what happened on my own."

Dawn nodded her head and walked off to make the phone call.

For the first time since I woke up I looked down at myself to only see that I was wearing a tank top and underwear.

Wait underwear? I swear when I passed out I was in shorts.

I started blushing and stumbling over my words, "I-I am sorry Jill I didn't notice what I was in."

"Hey Becky it's alright once again we found you while you were passed out. Why don't we both get out of this floor and you go and get some comfy clothing on and I'll be up there in a few minutes with Dawn and we'll help you pack some things, alright?" 

I nodded my head and start to sit up wincing as I did so. Then I slowly got to my feet with the help of Jill and started making my way towards mine and Nick's bedroom. 

I got upstairs and got some sweats and a baggy shirt and made my way into the bathroom.

I closed the door softly and stripped naked. I scanned myself head to toe. I head a black eye and some bruising on my jaw. Like predicted I had some hickeys on my neck and I just hoped it was from Nick. 

I scanned farther down my body and saw some of my ribs bruised, and some handmarks on my legs.

I just wish I could remember what all happened last night. They got me really drunk and messed up on drugs.

I wrapped my ribs so they wouldn't hurt as bad, but left the rest knowing that Kelley would see it all eventually. 

I walked out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom to see both Jill and Dawn sitting on my bed talking quietly.

Dawn looked up first and saw me. "I talked to Kelley and told her that you needed a place to stay awhile and was wondering if she would mind if you could stay at her house. She told me she didn't mind and she would love for you to come and stay for awhile."

I nodded and made my to the closet and grabbed my USA duffle bag and then made my way over to the dresser and started putting soccer clothes and cleats along with personal stuff into my duffle.

It only took me a few minutes to pack everything and stand at my door waiting for Jill and Dawn to ge the hint I was done. 

I didn't want to speak. I had no words to say, and being quiet is better than crying or yelling.

I made my way down stairs behind Jill and Dawn and grabbed my phone before we all walked out. 

We got into Jill's car and we started off to Kelleys.

_____

The ride to Kelley's house seemed so much shorter than it usually is. We pulled into her drive way and I could see her standing at her door probably mentally preparing herself what she was about to see and get herself into.

I got out of the car and saw her give me a small smile I nodded my head to her in return.

As I got to the door Kelley spoke for the first time "You know where the first bedroom is, you can sit your stuff down in there and then you can come down and eat because I bet Jill and Dawn haven't fed you yet." She looked at me giggling. 

I gave her a small smirk and nodded my head and made my way to the first bedroom.

The way her house was set up described her personality so much. It was so random and crazy but everything seemed so calm, so organized but somehow made everything work.

I got to the bedroom. This was the only room that people would probably say looked like most people's houses. Beige walls with a smooth brown night stand and dresser with an oak queen size bed with nice cream colored covers, and pictures of the different seasons on the walls with a huge picture of the sunset of the beach sitting above the bed.

I put my duffle bed on the bed and started to empty it into the dresser. I came across one thing I didn't want anyone seeing so I decided to put it into a pair of my socks that I never wear and put it in the back of the sock drawer.

I put the duffle bag into the closet and then sat on my 'bed'.

All I could think about was "where is my life going?" 

I don't know where it was going and honestly I am scared...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys a new chapter is here! I hope y'all enjoyed it.
> 
> Please give me some suggestions maybe??


	10. Maybe I could Have Prevented It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 1am I am sorry for anh errors in advance.

Kelley pov 

As Becky walked up the stairs towards the guest bedroom I looked at Jill and Dawn.

"How bad was it when y'all found her?"

The two ladies looked at each other the proceeded to walk towards the couches and sat down.

Jill coughed nervously "it wasn't the best sight to see your captain in. She was in a tank top and underwear passed out in the middle of the floor. Before Dawn and I decided to try and wake her up we made sure he wasn't there and take a quick scan of the bruising on her body."

"Wait bruising on her body?" I cut in quickly. "She has other bruising other than her face?"

Jill nodded her head an continued to speak. "I'm not going to tell you about all the bruising that is something she needs to do on her own."

Nodding my head understanding that people need time to process things and that when she is ready she will come to me. 

Still curious I asked, "What did the house look like when y'all were inside?"

Dawn decided to answer this time. "There was beer bottles everywhere the kitchen was a mess and there was some left over coke littered around the coffee table."

All I could do was nod. I couldn't wrap my head around Nick being drunk and having coke in the house, and I just couldn't understand why she came here instead of Alyssa's. I mean her and Alyssa are super close and they lean on each other for things.

"I heard them fighting one time," I blurted out all of a sudden.

"Heard who fighting?" Dawn asked looking at me and Jill extremely confused.

Way to go Kelley now you've done it. 

I took a glance at them decided I had no choice but to tell them now. "Nick and Becky. Awhile back Abby had a party and wasn't her normal 50 person party this one had somehow got attention to more people and it turned into like a 200 person party. We finally convinced Becky to come during practice, but she later texted Alyysa that night saying she couldn't make it because she she told Nick and he had a total melt down. So knowing Becky wasn't gonna be there to look after me like a toddler I went a little crazy. I don't all remember what happened, but I remember I mixed some pills and alcohol together and I was super out of it. I'm guessing Alyssa called Becky because the next thing I knew I was in her guest bedroom under covers. I decided I was going to take off my pants so I was a little more comfortable. All of a sudden I heard screaming. Nick was yelling at Becky that she lied to him because she was out longer than 45 minutes, and was accusing her of her getting drunk and partying over at Abby's."

Both women looked at me bewildered. Not knowing why I just stopped right there. "Is there anymore to the story?" Dawn asked.

All I could do was look down, away from the women. I could have talked to her about it but I let it be on her own.

Jill tapped my leg and I jumped "Kelley look up. What are you keeping from us."

I took a deep breath and continued. "Becky started yelling at him about she was out past time because when she got there I decided I was going to jump off the second story right when she got there, and then on the way home she had to pull over because I had to puke. She was also saying she didn't drink and she wasn't drunk, an he could even do a breathalyzer test on her. He then told her to sleep on the couch for all he cares and then he slammed their bedroom door an then it got quiet and I fell asleep. I think she did sleep on the couch that night. I wouldn't know that though because she was making breakfast the time I got up."

I looked at them they were trying to process everything I just told them. 

"She gave me a plate of breakfast on it and she went to go wake Nick up, and she came back a few minutes later saying he's gone for the day and she didn't have to be home until 9. You want to know what she did?."

I looked at them to make sure they were listening to this part. "She got her bottle of whiskey out and took four shots back to back. I had to take it away from her and tell her to eat. I told Alyssa about it and that's when we decided we should go to the zoo." 

I couldn't look at them anymore. I felt like I couldn't look at anyone. I decided to see how Becky was doing. 

I walked up the stairs to the guest bedroom and saw it cracked open. I glanced inside and what I saw broke my heart. Becky was curled up in a tiny ball at the top of the bed.

I went to the closet and grabbed a throw and gently pushed the door open. I unfolded the blanket and softly layed it over her.

Almost immediately she snuggled into it. I saw her face for the first time other than at the door.

It was so bruised and scratched up. She did however look a lot more in peace then what she looked liked when she walked through my door.

I walked out of the guest bedroom and slide down the wall of the hallway. I just cried. How could someone so special, someone who cares so much about people end up in a situation like this? I could've helped her that morning. I could've asked her about the whole fight.

Honestly Maybe I Could've prevented it..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I know another update! 
> 
> Well it's almost because it's 1am and I can't sleep. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter and I'm sorry for any errors. 
> 
> Remember give me suggestions and leave kudos. 
> 
> Thanks!


	11. Two down a lot more to go

Kelley Pov

I got myself off my the floor and composed myself, and started making my way back down to see Jill and Dawn still sitting on the couch.

"We went to the zoo and had to cut it short because the county jail called her and said Nick was in jail."

"Do you know why he was in jail for?"

"Assult and trespassing." Becky's voice said from the top of the stairs.

"How was your nap?" I asked embarrassed about the conversation she walked in on.

"It was alright." She said smiling as she walked down the stairs. 

She sat on the chair adjacent from us and said, "I need Alyssa to come over later so I can tell you and Alyssa what all went down last night, and why I am staying here for a little bit. Then tomorrow I need to get everyone together and tell them what has been going on."

All I could do was nod. Speechless about what kind of story Becky has for all those scratches and brusies. 

"Becky," jill started. "You do not have to tell them you know."

She sighed. "I know. But they deserve to know... I have been in the dark the last couple of months. I've hidden, and they deserve to know. 

"Okay." I said. As Jill and Dawn nodded. "I'm gonna go call Alyssa and tell her to come over. 

I walked outside and dailed her number.

"Hello?" Alyssa answered groggy.

"Sorry to wake you but Becky wanted me to call you, and tell me for you to come over so she can talk to us."

"Is she okay?" She responded panicky. 

"I can't say she is 100% okay, but she is safe, she is at my house. But I do need to warn you, she is really scratched up and bruised.

I heard a deep sigh on the other side of the phone. "Okay I'll talk to you soon I am leaving my house now." 

As soon as she said that the line went dead. And all I could do was try to keep my composer as I went back inside the house to ready for the story that is to come. 

_____

About 30 minutes later I heard a knock on the door and knew that it was Alyssa. 

I walked to the door to let her in. 

"You ready?" I asked her nervously.

"ready as I'll ever be."

Becky Pov

I saw Kelley and Alyssa talking to each other, and it just made me more nervous to tell them, mainly Alyssa..

The two girls walked over and sat down and about that time Jill cleared her throat. 

"Mhm me and Dawn are going to leave, we will see you there tomorrow and please message us later Becky. Lastly, Alyssa and Kelley listen to her understand where she is coming from and don't bombard her."

With that the two lady's were gone and it was just us three and I was honestly terrified.

We all three stared at each other until Alyssa finally spoke up.

"Where were you at practice?"

"I believe I was unconscious on my living room floor. A lot happened last night some of it I recall some of it I don't. Nick caught me drinking, yelled at me and then before going to grab a beer and do a line of coke, he told me to make something good and that his friends were coming over."

"What do you mean Coke?" Kelley asked petrified. 

Nodding my head, and kinda rocking back and forth a bit I responded. "Like he started to recently snort coke. I made some ribs and his friends came over wolfed whistled at me and I got them some beers and the ribs. I told them I was leaving I needed some rest for practice, and Nick dug his fingers into my hips and told me I wasn't going anywhere I agreed and next thing I knew it was 11pm. They made me have a couple of beers and they made me do a couple of lines of Coke. I told Nick it was almost midnight that I needed to get to bed he said no and started hitting me, and then he ended passing me around to his buddies to hit and kick and and right before I passed out I thought I felt someone kissing me, but that is all blurry."

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU LEFT HIM YET BECKY!!" Alyssa suddenly yells at me. 

I was taken back. "Why haven't I left him?"

Alyssa nodded and all I could see the fear growing in Kelley's eyes.

"Why do you think I am at Kelley's? Why do think I asked you to come here?" I was seething at this point. "I fucking left him okay. If I didn't leave him I would have never asked you to come here, hell I would never be here in the first place. I would be picking myself off that damn floor. I would be getting myself sober, and I would be getting fucking dinner ready for him." 

I looked her straight in the eye. "I realized that I screwed up by dating him for as long as I did. I thought he loved him, and I thought I loved him. He hurt me in so many ways that I can't explain. Hell I have hand prints on my legs and I don't know who did that. So yes it's been some fucked up months, and I'm dealing with it, but never yell at me again for something I was so oblivious about."

After I finished I walked out the door and started walking down the street. 

I sent a mass text to the team and coaches with a couple of add-on people like Abby and Christie.

I've been MIA for a couple of days and haven't been myself in months. Tomorrow you'll know why. Be in the conference room by 9am, and I'll explain everything..


	12. Now Everyone Who Needs to Know, Knows

When I came back later that night Alyssa was gone and Kelley was sitting on the couch eating rice.

"Hey" I said sheepishly walking into the living room.

"Hey" Kelley said smiling. "There is some rice still on the stove if you want some."

"No I am okay. I am not very hungry." I said starting to walk towards the stairs. I turned and faced Kelley, as she paused her show. "I think I am going to take a shower and try to sleep and process everything for tomorrow."

She nodded her head. "You know you still don't have to tell them you know."

I looked down at the wooden floor. "I know, but it needs to be done just in case teammates start to talk about why I haven't been playing."

"Who cares if they start talking Becky this is something extremely personal fo-"

"I know" cutting her off. "I know it's extremely personal, but it happned to me it can happen to anyone, and anyone on the team could be in a situation like me. I just want everyone to know I am okay, and I want to make sure the team is okay."

I turned around and made my way up stairs. Closing the door making I locked it behind me. I went to the bathroom and slowly stripped my clothes off and got into the warm shower. I saw all the dirt washing off my body. I grabbed a washcloth and scrubbed my body, trying to rid the partial memory of the men. I scrubbed and scrubbed until some of my scratches were bleeding. 

I quickly washed my hair and then got out. Wrapping the towel around me, not wanting to see everything on my body. I put a shirt on and quickly put on some underwear. 

I walked out of the bathroom and slowly made my way into the bed hoping I could sleep tonight.

_____

I was walking around the kitchen trying to get everything ready for the team dinner, when Nick stumbled in. 

"What the fuck you doing!" He slurred as he walked towards me. "Where is my dinner?"

"I told you eailer that the team is coming over for a team dinner Nick. That you were going to eat with them."

"Your wrong you stupid bitch!" He yelled as he got closer to me. "I never said that you could have the team over!"

He swung is fist hazardly but I couldn't duck fast enough as his fist collided with my cheek.

I bolted wake, and looked at the clock 3am.

Shit.

I knew I was not going to fall back asleep in this bed, so I got out of my bed and quietly made my way out of my room. 

I made my way down the door that I knew I could trust. 

I slowly opened up the door and saw the little squirrel sleeping quietly on her bed. 

I walked towards her bed and slowly got into it. 

"Everything okay?" She said quietly. 

"I'm sorry I woke you. I just couldn't sleep." I said looking at the door. 

"Come her Becks."

I got the rest of the way in and she carefully wrapped her arm around my waist. For the first time that day my body relaxed. And I fell asleep with a hope in my mind.

_____

The next morning my alarm went off and I panicked for half a second before realizing I was at Kelley's. 

I saw she was already up. I got out of bed and made my way back to the guest bedroom to get ready. I put on a baggy Georgia shirt that i found in the closet and a pair of black sweats. 

I walked down the stairs and saw Kelley was making some oatmeal. 

"Sorry for waking you up last night Kel." I said rubbing the back of my neck. 

"It's fine," Kelley said smiling. "It was good finally cuddling something besides a pillow."

All I could do was laugh. If course Kelley would say something like that. 

I grabbed a bit of oatmeal add joined Kelley on the couch to watch some cartoons. 

"Gosh I miss watching tv," I said before I realized what I was saying.

"You miss watching tv?" Kelley asked confused.

"I didn't watch it much." 

Kelley nodded her head and left it at that.

We finished our oatmeal and saw that it was around 8:30 and I told everyone to be at the conference room by 9.

We cleaned the bowls and got our gear ready, even though I probably wasn't going to practice today.

We got into the car and headed straight for hell.

_____

We Arrived around 8:45. I slowly breathed out of my nose and got out of the car. 

Kelley and I went inside to find Jill.   
We decided that I would stay will Jill until 9 so Kelley could find a seat. 

We knocked on Jill's door and she told us to come in. 

"How are y'all this morning?" Jill asked us both.

Kelley decided to answer. "I am doing alright and I think Becks is a little nervous."

"Understandable," She said nodding her head. "Why don't you go find a seat and me and Becky will be in there in a few."

With that Kelley was gone and me and Jill were alone.

"Have you heard from him?"

"No, and before you ask I don't know how long it is going to take for him to come down off one of his runs and see I am not coming back."

"Have you heard from her?" She asked curiously.

"Heard from her?" I asked confused.

"Alyssa." She said. "Kelley called me because you never did and told me that Alyssa blew and and you also blew and you ended up going on a three hour walk."

"Can we just drop it please." I asked not in the mood to talk about Alyssa at the moment. 

I looked at my watch, and saw it was almost 9. I stood up from my chair. "It's almost 9, I guess it's now or never."

Jill nodded her head. We got up and walked out of her office and walked down the corridor towards the conference room.

Right before she entered the room she looked at me. "They are going go ask you questions Becky you've lost a lot of weight, you have brusies and scratches. I don't know how much you are going to share, but I want you to be aware."

"Thank you Jill." I muttered as we both walked into the conference room. Me staying behind so no one could see me.

_____

Jill's Pov 

I walked into front of the girls. Some faces that show up every call up and some older faces that Becky asked to be here.

"I am aware that Becky sent out huge group message last night that she had some things she wanted to share." 

I paused for a second and took a deep breath. "This is difficult for her to talk about. So please just let her talk." 

I took one last look and saw two faces I thought I wouldn't see. Hope Solo side of the room and Alyssa sitting on the other side of the room in the back.

I walked away and gave Becky one last hug before she went out there. "You're okay. Everything will be okay in the end."

Becky Pov 

As Jill said those words I took a deep breath and stepped out from the first time, for everyone to see my face.

I heard gasp and whispers start as I walked out to the stool they put out for me to sit on.

I sat down and looked around and saw everyone looking at my face, but among them all my eyes locked on a certain brunette. She half smiled and gave me a nod telling me it is alright.

I took a deep breath and started. "I heard the gasp and heard the whispers. I know what y'all all must be wondering. What happened to me? As most of you may know I had a boyfriend name Nick. Some of my closer friends knew he was kind of strict about who I hung out with and how long I was out. Everyone said I should be careful but I dismissed it."

I looked up and saw everyone paying attention to me.

"Before I knew it he hit me for the first time. It was because I wanted to know why I just bailed him out of jail. People told me I needed to to get out of it before it escalated even more. Once again I dissmised them, but they were right. It did escalated. I was yelled at constantly for the smallest thing, and I got hit constantly for trying to defend myself when we yelled at each other."

I stopped, and took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. I saw Kelley looking at me ready to intervene if needed. I shook my head no and continued.

I started distancing myself from everyone and make-up and alcohol became a great friend of mine. The biggest breaking point was yesterday when most of y'all saw I didn't show up at practice. I woke up from Jill and Dawn shaking me. I woke up on the floor of my living room in a tank top and underwear. With scratches and brusies like you see. The night before Nick caught me drinking slapped me and then told me his friends were coming over. While I was making dinner he was in the living room drinking beer and doing coke. Yes he started doing cocaine a couple months back, and honestly he could be on other drugs that I don't know about. His friends came over and they ate dinner and started drinking beer and also started doing cocaine. I tried to leave but he wouldn't let me. He dug his nails into my waist until I told him would stay. It turned to 11 o'clock I was extremely tired and by this point they made me drink some beers and am forced me to do some coke. I tried telling him I needed to go to sleep, but of course everything had to go Nick's way and I couldn't."

I didn't realise I was shaking and on the verge of tears until I looked up and my eye sight was blurry. I didn't want to continue but they deserve to know everything going on. 

"By this point in mine and Nick's relationship I had been physically abused and verbally abused, but I don't have much memory of the rest of the night, but I believe that night I was also sexually abused."

As soon as those words came out of my mouth I once again heard whispers and even heard Jill gasp from behind me.

I decided I needed to do this. I slowly put up my hair into a bun and took off my shirt and unwrapped my my ribs.

I heard some gasps from people when they saw the huge brusies on one side and a hand print on the other. 

"He started to hit me and kick me, and passed me around to his friends. He let them hit me kick me, whatever they wanted to do to me. As I was going in and out of conscious I could vegualy remember kissing of my body. When Jill and Dawn woke me up the next morning this was on my legs."

I slowly got off the stool and took off my sweats and showed the handmarks on my thighs. I sat back down trying to think how to end this.

"I just want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry I never listened to anybody about this. I lost my family, and I have practically lost an amazing friendship because I thought he loved me, and I loved him. I am currently staying with Kelley and her and Alyssa are helping me get my shit together. I want to say I'm sorry." 

I got up and slowly made my way to the back and stood right in front of Alyssa. 

"And I want to personally say I'm sorry to you. I pushed you away and away and away. I love you with all my heart and I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with me."

She stood up and brought me into a hug. She whispered in"Thank you for putting up with me, but we have some things we need to talk about later." 

I nodded started my way back to the front to hear all the questions I was fixing to be bombarded with.


	13. Questions and Answers

As I put my clothes back on and sat on the stool, the first question that came out of someone's mouth was from Pinoe. "Does he know that you have left him? And have you taken everything from the house yet?"

I took a deep breath and try to figure out how to word it. "No he does not know that I left, and he does not know I am staying with Kelley. He is most likely on one of his runs because I haven't heard from him since that night, and no I haven't taken everything from the house yet. Everything is so difficult right now I am going to wait a couple of days until I get my feet settled back down."

Everyone nodded their heads understanding my answer. I did not think that answering questions was going to be so difficult. 

The next one was from Allie. "Why did you decide to leave now?

I gulped. I was hoping someone wouldn't ask this question. "The night all his friends came over scared me. I was thrown around like a rag doll, and was treated like one. I was like a personal punching bag, and they had full control over what I drank and what drugs I took. I was powerless. When Jill and Dawn woke me up yesterday morning I was scared. I was disoriented I didn't know what was going on until all the memories came flooding back from the previous night. I was greatful that they came an checked on me, but it made me realize that what if that happens again. What if Nick and his buddies go to far? What if next time Jill and Dawn comes and checks on me I don't wake up. It scared me so I decided I needed to leave."

Everyone was stunned at what I just said. Hell I was even stunned at what I said. I didn't realize he scared me that much. I didn't realize I was terrified that he was going to end up killing me until she asked the question, and everything just came flooding out.

I answered a few more questions, mainly about how long I planned to stay with Kelley, and if I ever plan to press charges against him or not. People were quietly chatting when I heard baby Mal with with tear stained cheeks say barely above a whisper, "You're gonna be alright though right?"

Hearing her say that about broke my heart. I got off the stool and walked to where she was sitting and lifted her into my lap, and wrapped my arms around her slowly rocking her. "Yes sweetie everything will be okay. I will be okay." By this time I was starting to cry. "Everything may be rocky for a little bit but in the end I will be okay." 

I held her for a few minutes until I looked down and saw she fell asleep. I waved over to Ashlyn to grab her and take her to her room so she could sleep. 

About that time Jill came back up to the front of the room. "I know everything has been a crazy morning. We are going to meet at the lobby at noon so we can go have a team lunch so you have a little free time, and then practice at 4."

With that the room started to clear out except for some of the players who have retired or haven't been called in, and then Kelley.

I knew the older ladies wanted to talk, I waved Kelley off telling her I would be fine. She nodded reluctantly, but left the room.

Now the only people in the room was Christie, Abby, Hope, and myself.

Abby was the first to speak up. "You didn't have to tell everyone you know."

All I could do was laugh at that time. "That is what everyone keeps telling me, but I had to. I needed to."

They nodded and decided not to press on. The silence was short lived when Christie decided to speak up. "Did you get a rape kit done? Because when you said you thought you might've been raped and all."

Sighing deeply, "No I didn't. It would be useless now anyways I took a shower last night, and don't blame Jill or anyone because the first time they heard about it was when I told y'all."

The next question struck me the hardest. "How are you going go get everything that is yours out of the house?" Christie asked.

I hadn't thought about that. "Honestly I have no clue. I have no plan, hell I'm homeless right now. I don't want to be a burden to Kelley by staying at her house to long, and me and Alyssa are at each others throats about why I stayed so long. I don't know how I'm gonna get my shit out of the house. I don't know where I am going to store everything once I get it out of the house. I-I just don't know anymore..."

I sat down in a chair and just cried. Everything that has happned the last couple of days just caught up to me and I can't stop it. 

I heard a couple of whispers and then it silent for a couple of minutes until someone lifted up my chin. I flinched as usual. 

"Sorry" she said.

I looked up and I was eyes to eyes with Hope.

"I know everything seems crazy right now." She started. "I know it feels like you don't have any control right now, but I see the way Kelley has helped you just in these past few hours. I saw when you were struggling, she was ready to come up and help you. I saw how reluctant she was to leave when we wanted to talk to you." 

She stopped for half a second and started laughing softly to herself.

"And when you started apologizing to Alyssa. The way she looked at you. It had hurt. But it also had love. I could say she loves you like Kelley loves you, but we would both be lying to ourselves. You guys may not see eye to eye about Nick, but she wants the best for you. She really does love you."

She stopped and looked at her watch and sighed. "It's nearing 11:30. You want to go get ready for lunch?"

I shrugged my shoulders and stood up. I looked up at her before exiting the room. "Thank you."

All she did was nod as we left to go get ready for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I hope y'all enjoyed this.
> 
> Maybe give me suggestions on what y'all want to see


	14. Beauty Is In The Eye of The Beholder

I went up the elevators to the gals I knew that could do make up. I knocked on the door and waited for half a sec when Sydney opened up the door. I gave her a half smile and asked, "You have time for one more person's make-up?" She laughed nodding her head, and letting me inside "Girl you know I got time to do anyone's make-up." _____ The time she got done with me you could have never tell that my face was brusied up besides my split lip. All I could do was look at myself in the mirror with awe. I always tried to hide it but the concealer and foundation I always tried never seemed to work. I walked over to Syd and gave her a hug. "Thank you." I said smiling. "No problem" she said as she looked at the art work she did on my face. Ali coughed moving the attention to her. Rolling my eyes I decided to give her the attention the princess wanted. Smiling, "since all you have are sweats and a baggy old Tee-Shirt we helped you out." "Helped me out?" I asked highly confused on where this was going. "Yes helping you out." She half laughed. "Honey you can't go out to lunch like that. Me and some of the other girls decided that we would help you find some clothes for lunch. So we went through each others stuff and found some small stuff and well here." She handed me a pair of leggings with a cute green sweater. I nodded my head in approval and went to the bathroom to change into everything. Besides the sweater being a tad to big everything fit nicely. I gave them both a hug and decided it was a good time to start heading towards lobby. Listening to Sydney and Ali laughing and joking around made me feel like everything was going good today. _____ Alyssa Pov We were all sitting at the table at this little Italian restaurant, and all I could stare at was Becky. The way she presented herself around other people always made me second think her and Nick's relationship. Everytime we were with the team or just a little group of people she had this presence that everything was going good, and her life was great. But everytime it was just me and her I could feel the exhaustion radiating off of her. But today I wasn't searching to make sure she was okay, because I knew everyone has her back and is in good hands. The way the girls fixed her make-up was beyond amazing she looked so beautiful in the sunlight. And the green sweater made her catch my eye even more. She has this beautiful smile and a sense of humor no one gets. The way she gushes over the Zelda games is beyond me. Just seeing her happy made me happy. The only other thing that caught my eye was how much has barely eaten. She was mostly just playing with her lettuce and sipping on her water. I decided to push that to the back of my mind. I was thrown out of train of thought as someone poked my shoulder. "You're doing it again." I heard Hopes voice say. "What do you mean?" I asked, as I turned towards her. "Staring at her. Zoning out while the whole team talks. She is going to notice eventually." I sighed. I knew she would. Becky is smart. I knew I needed to just be there for her right now. All she needed right now was a friend. But I couldn't stop crushing on her..


	15. Different People

_ Becky's Pov _

As I sat there at the table listening to all of the different conversations happening all I could think about was what Christie had said to me earlier. “Did you get a rape kit?” I do not know why, but that phrase kept haunting me inside my head.

 

I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I got my phone out and texted the two people that I needed.

 

_ To Hope, Christie: _

 

_ I can’t sit here anymore I need to talk to you outside. _

 

As soon as I saw that my message was sent, I stood up and started walking out the door. I saw Alyssa and Kelley starting to get up, but I put my hand up telling them I would be okay.

 

I made it the rest of the way out of the patio to the side of the building waited for them.

 

“Is everything alright Becky?” Christie asked me.

 

“I-I I do not know anymore okay.” I said head towards the ground. “Everything has just been crazy these last 48 hours and I just don’t know how to process it anymore. One minute I am telling myself that I need to tell the police and the next minute I am thinking I need to go home and get cleaned up for Nick.”

 

I stopped for a minute to take a shaky breath. My vision started to blur as I was getting worked up. “ I just want to know what happened 48 hours ago alright. I feel like I should know. I was In that room! I was the one that all that shit was happening to! I was the one that was possibly raped that night! But out of everyone that was in that house that doesn’t know what happened in that fucking room!”

 

I collapsed. Tears running down my face all I could do was sob. I didn’t know what was happening in my life. 

 

Suddenly someone's arms wrapped around my body and I was back to that night.

 

_ “Come on Becky it’s just a little more coke” one of the guys said. _

 

_ I shook my head no. I didn’t want anymore coke. I had to get up 5 hours. I just wanted to get out of this room. _

 

_ The next minute someone is shoving my head against the table and Whispered in my ear. “Stop making look like an idiot in front of my friends, you better do this line or your pretty face is gonna have a handprint on it.” _

 

_ Knowing it was a real threat I slowly closed my eyes and took the line. It burnt so much, but i did it. As soon as I got up I was slapped by Nick anyways. He probably thought I took to long to do the coke. He pulled me onto his lap and started fondling my boobs. When he decided he didn’t want me anymore he just threw me to one of his friends. This friend had brown stubble on his chin and he punched me a couple of times, and my focus kept going in and out everytime he did it. _

 

_ And the next thing I knew I was back in reality.    _

_____

 

_ Hope’s Pov _

 

As soon as I wrapped my arms around Becky’s body she just stopped shaking and zoned out. She was zoned out and back to reality in less than a minute.

 

As soon as she came back to reality she was out of my lap and into Christie’s side. She looked terrified as i looked at her. I looked up at Christie do see what she was gonna do. She shrugged her shoulders, then bent down and whispered something into Becky’s ear.

 

A couple seconds later Becky nodded her head got Christie’s keys and started making her way to the car. I tilted my head in confusion as Christie walked towards me. “ I know I was not the only person that saw what just happened to Becky, and we can both see that she is terrified at the moment, so can you go tell jill that me and you are going to take Becky back to Kelley’s place, and we are going to stay there until Kelley gets back.”

 

I nodded my head and walked back over to the patio. Jill saw me walk back in and gave her a polite smile. I explained to her the situation and told her thanks for letting us come to lunch and that we would take care of Becky until Kelley got back. She smiled and gave me a hug told me anytime, and then once again I was leaving the patio, but this time to Christie’s car.

 

I got into the back see and saw that Becky was in the front seat already asleep. I looked towards Christie as was pulling out of the parking lot. “How much sleep do you think she has been getting?” I asked.

 

“Not near enough. Kelley told me that last night Becky came into her room around 3am and got into her bed. She also told me when she wrapped her into her arms and she felt thin.”

 

All I could do was nod my head. Anyone could see that she had lost some weight, but how much she had actually lost was a whole different mystery.

 

The rest of the ride was quiet and soon we were pulling into Kelley’s driveway.

_____

 

_ Becky Pov _

 

I got into Christie’s car and next thing I knew I was being shaken’ awake. I gave Christie a gentle smile and got out of the car and made my way up to the door.  I unlocked it and as soon as I was in I went into Kelley’s kitchen to find the item I needed.

 

I rambled through the kitchen when I heard Hope’s voice behind me. “What are you looking for?” 

 

All I could do was wave her off. She would figure it out soon enough.  I turned to look at her “If there is enough left I Promise you that I will give you and Christie some.”

 

All I could do was chuckle at the look Hope was giving me. She was uterally confused at what I was talking about. I turned back around still trying to find her stash. I finally found it with some weed (score!!). I got the vodka and whiskey of of the cabinet and put it on the counter where Hope and Christie was sitting, and the got some of the weed out with the pipe.

 

I went to the kitchen window opened it up and then reached at the cabinet for three shot glasses. I lined them up on the counter and filled them up and shot back one and then offered them to the gals sitting at the counter. “I poured you guys some. Come on drink up.”

 

Christie shook her head no so I took her shot, and then I looked at Hope with a challenging stare. She finally caved in and took the shot. I cheered as I grabbed the weed and took a couple of hits. I choked the first time because I haven’t had it in forever. I took two shots of Whiskey when I finally heard those words come out of Christie’s mouth. “Rebecca Elizabeth that is enough!”

 

And I just stared at her.

 

“Why should I stop?”

 

“Because you are hurting yourself.”

 

“But am I really doing that to myself, or am I trying to save myself by making myself numb.”

 

All we could do was stare at each other, challenge one another and see who breaks. I took the bottle of vodka and took another long swig of it just to prove my point.

 

“Where is the Becky that everyone use to know and love?” Hope suddenly asked.

 

I stopped for a minute before I grabbed the bottle of Vodka and the rest of the weed. “She’s dead. She died the day everything started to go down hill.”

 

As soon as those words left my mouth I was walking up the stairs to my ‘room’ to lock myself in and finish the bottle.


	16. Bathroom Brothels

All I could do was pace the room back and forth, back and forth holding the near emoty vodka bottle. 

I don't know what to do. I just want to drown myself in the alcohol, and be numb to the world.

When I told Hope that the Becky everyone knows and loves was dead I was not joking. She really is dead because when I stand in front of the mirror i cannot even recognize who it really is. 

I went to the bathroom and turned on the water and plugged the tub. As the water got to the right height I slowly climbed into the bath, clothes and all.

I saw that the vodka bottle had about two good more swigs. I drank the rest, and then threw it against the wall shaterring into the floor. I picked up one of the peices and decided to look at it. I looked at my arms and just saw all the little hand marks sitting there. I couldn't bare just looking at them, so i took the piece of glass and cut through the hand. 

I did it several more times, and then I just sat there and decided to watch the blood stain the nice green sweater.

_____

Alyssa Pov

Me and Kelley left the restraunt about 20 mintues after Becky and them left. 

I was honestly worried about her because she left the table looking alright, like she was going to have a nice little chat and then all of a sudden, Hope is coming in and telling Jill that her and Christie were going to take her back to Kelley's house. 

We walked in and saw Hope And Christie sitting on the couch watching some television.

"Where is Becky?," i asked casually.

"Um.. well you see.." Hope Started. "She fell asleep in the car and as soon as she got back her she was back to 100. We came inside she got three shot glassss down did 2 shots of vodka, challenged me to take one, and had a couple of hits of weed before Christie told her to stop. I asked her what the matter, and she kinda just took the vodka bottle upstairs and announced that she was gonna go upstairs and drink the whole bottle of vodka"

My mouth was gaped opened. That wasn't like Becky at all. That honestly sounded something Kelley would do. 

About 2 minutes after Hope finished her spiel we heard a loud crash.

"Shit Kelley! Where is your keys to the doors??" I asked frantically.

"Um... they are in the first drawer on the left when you go into the kitchen. 

I raced over to the drawers grabbed the keys and then turned around to see if anyone else was going come with me. 

Christie looked at me and said, "She needs you. Just yell if you need us." 

I nodded my head and raced up the stairs to the room that she was staying in and picked the lock.

I finally got the lick undone about a mintue later, and i slammed open the door and looked around and didnt see her. Then I saw that the bathroom door was closed. 

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down before going over to the bathroom door and seeing if it was locked.

I turned the doorknob and to my suprise it wasn't locked. I slowly pushed the door open and walked in quietly, and what I saw just broke my heart.

I walked to Becky, and my eyes traveled to the the blood seeping out of Becky's arm. 

"Oh sweetheart..." I said quietly. I got a washcloth from under the sink and started washing the blood off of her arm. 

I saw that she was slightly shivering. "Come on Becky we need to get you out of the tub and into some dry clothes." I said as I was starting to reach to help her.

"No," she said strongly. 

"Yes Becky you do. You're gonna get sick."

"I don't fucking care Lys. Let me get sick." She said.

I grumbled. I was not fixing to get into an argument with Becky.

"Im not gonna argue with you Becky. You are intoxicated and if you do not get out of this bath, I am going to have to pull you out of it, and you're going to end up sick."

I looked at Becky to see what she was going to do. And all she did was shrug her shoulders.

"Okay you asked for it." I mumbled under my breath.

I went to grab Becky and she moved over towards the wall more. 

I reached again and this time she moved forward. I wasnt having it anymore and I finally got ahold of Becky's arm.

When I grabbed her arm, I was not expecting what happened. She started to thrash around and trying to get out of my grip. 

"Come on Becky you have to get out of the bath." I said still trying to reason with her.

"NO!" She said still trying to get out of my grip. "Just leave me here!"

Shaking my head I replied, "No can do."

I knew I was not going to be able to get her out of the bathtub myself.

"Hope can you come up here and help me real quick!" I yelled downstairs.

I knew Hope was the strongest out of the three down there and I knew she could maybe help me Calm down Becky.

As I was waiting for Hope to get in there Becky kept swinging her free arm to hit me, so I would let go. Luckily she never acutally got me.

About half a mintue later Hope came came into the bathroom with a bewilder expression on her face. 

All could say at the moment to her was, "Ill explain later, just help me get her into the bedroom please." 

She nodded her head, and went over to the tub.

It took us about 10 mintues, but we finally got her out of the tub, and "dried" her off and got her into the bedroom. Once we got her to the bedroom she just kind of gave up and let me help her.

I thanked Hope and told her that I got it from there. She left and I got Becky changed and tucked her into the bed, and I layed next to her.

I cuddled into her, and whispered in her ear, "I wish you could see how much everyone cares about you...especially me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys here is a chapter. Im sorry i havent posted in 10,000 years. It was a crazy summer and I have started college.
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave kudos on this and i am always up for some ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys this is my first story. I already have a few chapters posted on Wattpad, but also decided to. Post it here. 
> 
> I am up for some suggestions for this story. 
> 
> Thanks!


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